I hope Santa doesn’t put me down on his naughty list for this statement, but: CHRISTMAS MUSIC MAKES ME WANT TO ROAST MYSELF ON AN OPEN FIRE.
I DJed several holiday-time festivities this year and knew I’d have to add some appropriately holiday-time festive tracks to my virtual crates. So I had to find some stuff that didn’t make me want to drown myself in egg nog.
For a brief moment, I considered buying Now That’s What I Call Christmas. Oh (rein)dear.
Because Christmas is the season of giving, here’s my stash of groovy gifties just for you! Spiked egg nog drowning optional.
1. Holiday Lounge – The Christmas Remixes
A sleighful of completely listenable, legit remixes of holiday classics. The producers behind these remixes include Dan the Automator and Kaskade. Get the whole thing.
2. “Christmas in Hollis” – RUN DMC
This is no news flash. No holiday party mix is complete without this Christmastime tune from the winter wonderland of Hollis Queens. Here’s a YouTube of this holiday classic translated as emoji. (p.s. This vid is from a few years back. Man, I miss this iOS.)
3. “Santa Baby” (Alexkid & DJ Sleep Remix) – Eartha Kitt
How did I never notice the lyrics to this before? This woman has her mind on her money and her money on her mind:
“Santa honey, one little thing I really need
The deed to a platinum mine
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with the duplex and checks
Sign your ‘x’ on the line
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight”
Yes, Santa, hurry up with this stuff pls.
4. “White Christmas” (Kaskade Remix) – Bing Crosby
This one is included on the Holiday Lounge compilation above, but I thought I’d call it out on its own, too. Kaskade posted it to his Soundcloud as a free download. We like FREE.
In the track notes, Kaskade says, “I only had the 2 track to work with so I had to get tricky but it’s fun and I got to put my slant on this classic, enjoy!”
5. “Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto” – James Brown
Santa Claus, go straight to the ghetto. And tell ’em James Brown sent ya.
6. “Wonderful Christmastime” – Paul McCartney
Whoa. The video is rad for this one. Space age.
7. “The Little Drummer Boy / Peace On Earth” – Bing Crosby & David Bowie
Speaking of space age. I thought I was in outerspace watching Bing Crosby and David Bowie in their dapper duds and all this pa-rum-pum-pum business.
And you can’t watch the original without following it up with Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly’s parody version. So weird and wonderful.
8. “All I Want For Christmas Is You” – Mariah Carey, The Roots, and Jimmy Fallon
I nearly passed out the other day when I realized the original Mariah classic version of this is 20 years old. Oh well, so what if it makes me feel old — white beards are really popular this time of year.
Here’s the best rendition evaaa of this song, filmed for The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon a couple years ago. With classroom instruments. And The Roots. And Mariah Carey with stars on her nips???
9. “Christmas Rappin'” – Kurtis Blow
Another wow video. Kurtis Blow kilt it in this “Top of the Pops” performance of “Christmas Rappin'” from 1980. Did you know this song was the first rap song released on a major label (Mercury Records)? I didn’t. But now I do.
10. “Last Christmas” – Wham!
I know you’ve probably already heard this one too many times as you wandered around the aisles of CVS, but here it is again. I like to really consider the lyrics:
“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
The very next day, you gave it away.”
The very next day?! Sucks.
This year, to save me from tears, I’ll give it to someone special.
Merry xmas, strangers. Stay safe, stay warm, stay away from shopping malls.